DAVID First-round nerves
Golf etiquette is mostly about not surprising people
Nobody expects a new golfer to quote Rule 16. They do expect you not to walk in their putting line, not to take twelve practice swings, and not to shout “FORE” after the ball has already hit a cart. Etiquette is consideration with a dress code.
Safety is not optional politeness
Never stand ahead of someone who is about to hit. Never swing if anyone is in range — including the group on the next tee if the holes sit tight. If a ball is going toward people, yell “fore” immediately, not after you have watched it like a movie. I have seen Nairobi holes where a pulled drive is a conversation with another fairway. Heads up is the whole rule.
Pace: ready golf is kindness
Line up while others hit (from a safe place). Take one or two rehearsal swings, not a yoga class. If you have already made seven and you are not in a serious competition, pick up, drop near the green, and putt out if the group is happy. You will still learn. You will still be invited back.
Lost ball: search for three minutes, not fifteen. Hit a provisional if you thought it might be gone. That word — provisional — is worth learning before your first medal.
Sand and grass
Enter bunkers from the low side, play, rake your footprints and the crater. On greens, repair your pitch mark and one more. Do not lean on your putter like a walking stick. Do not celebrate a 40-footer by stomping through someone else’s line.
Leave the place as if a better golfer were about to play it. One might be in the group behind.
Phones, advice, and the first-tee freeze
Silent phone. If you must take a call, step away from the teeing area. Do not give swing notes to a stranger unless they ask — even if you just watched a YouTube video in the car. If you are terrified, say so. A decent group will let you hit when you are ready and will not film you.
I offer etiquette coaching as a playing lesson in disguise. We walk, we talk, we hit when it is safe. Nairobi or wherever you are playing. Book a first-round companion.